TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE DEALING WITH A DUMB CRIMINAL:
1) He took public transportation to and from his bank robbery.
2) He is using his seeing eye dog as a look-out.
3) Instead of a cherry pie, she shoplifted yeast, flour, eggs, and a jar of cherries.
4) You caught him driving a stolen car with "The Club" still on.
5) He tries to convince you that he thought crack was a breakfast cereal.
6) He responds to your use of verbal force with a bunch of "Yo'momma" oneliners.
7) He makes himself laugh every time he says he's innocent.
8) He claims diplomatic immunity because he's a citizen of the Republic of Texas.
9) He asks the judge for a senior citizen discount on his 7-year sentence.
10) He left footprints and a bloody glove at the crime scene.
Cartoons by Gaspirtz